Boundaries
Are you like me? Do you sometimes treat your boundaries like they are negotiable? I struggle with adhering to my own boundaries tremendously. I used to think that saying yes to everyone would endear me to them or would show how willing I was to be a team player, so I spent many years only saying yes. That propensity for always answering in the affirmative would later come to bite me as I found every boundary I’d ever try to establish being trampled and abused, to no end, by everyone around me.
The asks would continually get bigger as the rewards exponentially diminished. It got to the point where resentment ruled me, but I really only had myself in to blame. You see, I abuse my boundaries as much as anyone else does. I say yes too much. I let people into my life that take advantage, and then I wonder how it happened.
So over the last couple of years, I have been practicing the art of “No.” If I don’t want to participate, I decline the RSVP. If I want a weekend to snuggle with my kids and my husband, unplugged, I block out my calendar. If I don’t feel a connection, I pass the collaboration opportunity onto one of my many talented, amazing friends. Saying no more often has actually made me a better person, a more present mother, a more conscientious artist, and a more aligned colleague.
“No” has saved me a lot this year. I still give up Thanksgiving weekend, every year, to clients (and usually those sessions are my favorite). I will still bend for a dear friend, but my ability to stand my ground and say no loudly has made a hard year a little bit easier. We should all learn to listen to our soul’s inner longing better. We deserve to be respected by others, but that starts with us respecting ourselves first and knowing that we are valuable and deserving.
